Discussion about this post

User's avatar
Rachael's avatar

Very good advice, and I am in the target audience.

I have a strong temptation to do this even when I do agree with the person's main point! I took an embarrassingly long time to learn that people tend to take this as implying disagreement with their main point, even if I meant no such thing. Like (as a bit of a contrived example) if someone says the Nazis killed 8 million Jews, I might reflexively say "6 million" (or have to try very hard not to), and I used not to realise that people would mistake that for defending the Nazis or suggesting they weren't as bad as you thought.

A wise person helped me understand that nitpicking is a skill that can be deployed in certain situations where it's useful (e.g. programming, proofreading) and turned off in other situations where it's not.

Expand full comment
Cathy Garcia's avatar

Agree! Never a winning tactic to start with a ‘Well actually I think you’ll find…’. Funnily enough noone takes kindly to that!

Expand full comment
4 more comments...

No posts