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Rachael's avatar

Very good advice, and I am in the target audience.

I have a strong temptation to do this even when I do agree with the person's main point! I took an embarrassingly long time to learn that people tend to take this as implying disagreement with their main point, even if I meant no such thing. Like (as a bit of a contrived example) if someone says the Nazis killed 8 million Jews, I might reflexively say "6 million" (or have to try very hard not to), and I used not to realise that people would mistake that for defending the Nazis or suggesting they weren't as bad as you thought.

A wise person helped me understand that nitpicking is a skill that can be deployed in certain situations where it's useful (e.g. programming, proofreading) and turned off in other situations where it's not.

Cathy Garcia's avatar

Agree! Never a winning tactic to start with a ‘Well actually I think you’ll find…’. Funnily enough noone takes kindly to that!

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