Few tricky questions in there! Felt like there wasn't much of an option to say that my main hope is that he ends up largely happy, and my main concern is that he ends up largely miserable.
On the wider parenting questions, I think the biggest issue is parents having a fair idea of the standards they want to set but then not being able to make that happen. Even with a teaching background, I know there are some things I intended but didn't manage.
Very much agree with your last point: aiming at something and achieving it are far from the same thing!
Re happiness, this was actually a deliberate decision because I thought if I put 'be happy' in there (almost) everyone would pick it. :-) But of course everyone also has different ideas of how to achieve that, which I'm hoping will come out.
Enjoyed completing the survey, though found for quite a few questions my actual answer would be ‘not sure’ or ‘it depends on the child’. Strong views on parenting (often not backed by good evidence) are to be discouraged! My strongest view is that we shouldn’t agonise so much and we should stop treating our kids as blank slates. Picky eaters are often born that way and get over it as they get older, a shy kid will hate being forced to be more sociable than they naturally are. Why not go with the grain of who each child is rather than try and mould them into our own idea of what they should be….
I would even go further, or up a meta level: I think some shy kids will become distressed and withdraw further if forced to socialise and will blossom better with a gentler child-led approach, *but* others will come out of their shell if given a bit of a push and could descend into pathological social anxiety if never challenged to step out of their comfort zone. Some picky eaters will grow out of it if you keep encouraging them to try things, but others will do better if you back off. And it's really hard to tell which kind you have!
I'll be honest, I didn't even think of this while writing it, but can totally see that for parents of children with serious allergies then that would be right up there as a top worry.
On the age limits am I answering as if this is section 1 (at what age did I first do this with my kids?) or as in section 2 (at what age would I be disapproving of other people doing it?). The second produces lower numbers than the first!
The age questions were very hard because the real answer is pretty much always 'it depends'. Both on the child and the circumstances. I'd let the children range over our fields at an earlier age than I would let them go to a public park (not that that is possible from where we live) - but if we lived somewhere where I could train them up and gradually extend the triangle in a supervised manner, that might be different. Other siblings factor into things like leaving them alone. Unsupervised use of internet depends on extensive guidance and ability to check up on compliance, etc. And different children just have different competencies at different ages.
Few tricky questions in there! Felt like there wasn't much of an option to say that my main hope is that he ends up largely happy, and my main concern is that he ends up largely miserable.
On the wider parenting questions, I think the biggest issue is parents having a fair idea of the standards they want to set but then not being able to make that happen. Even with a teaching background, I know there are some things I intended but didn't manage.
Very much agree with your last point: aiming at something and achieving it are far from the same thing!
Re happiness, this was actually a deliberate decision because I thought if I put 'be happy' in there (almost) everyone would pick it. :-) But of course everyone also has different ideas of how to achieve that, which I'm hoping will come out.
Very interesting!
Nothing in q1 about honesty or integrity?
Good point - an omission!
I should have had an 'other' box on some of them (though I guess people can also just comment here, which works just as well).
Enjoyed completing the survey, though found for quite a few questions my actual answer would be ‘not sure’ or ‘it depends on the child’. Strong views on parenting (often not backed by good evidence) are to be discouraged! My strongest view is that we shouldn’t agonise so much and we should stop treating our kids as blank slates. Picky eaters are often born that way and get over it as they get older, a shy kid will hate being forced to be more sociable than they naturally are. Why not go with the grain of who each child is rather than try and mould them into our own idea of what they should be….
I agree a lot depends on the child.
I would even go further, or up a meta level: I think some shy kids will become distressed and withdraw further if forced to socialise and will blossom better with a gentler child-led approach, *but* others will come out of their shell if given a bit of a push and could descend into pathological social anxiety if never challenged to step out of their comfort zone. Some picky eaters will grow out of it if you keep encouraging them to try things, but others will do better if you back off. And it's really hard to tell which kind you have!
I was surprised in question 4 about fears that there wasn't an option relating to health.
One of my sons is allergic to eggs and peanuts and overwhelmingly my biggest fear for him is anaphylaxis
Good point!
I'll be honest, I didn't even think of this while writing it, but can totally see that for parents of children with serious allergies then that would be right up there as a top worry.
On the age limits am I answering as if this is section 1 (at what age did I first do this with my kids?) or as in section 2 (at what age would I be disapproving of other people doing it?). The second produces lower numbers than the first!
Answer the age at which you think is ideal for most kids, which I'd assume would - in most cases - be the same age you did it for your kids.
Questions 1,2,3 where you have to select a max for 3 options were quite hard to answer, if you have >=4 options you want to select.
The age questions were very hard because the real answer is pretty much always 'it depends'. Both on the child and the circumstances. I'd let the children range over our fields at an earlier age than I would let them go to a public park (not that that is possible from where we live) - but if we lived somewhere where I could train them up and gradually extend the triangle in a supervised manner, that might be different. Other siblings factor into things like leaving them alone. Unsupervised use of internet depends on extensive guidance and ability to check up on compliance, etc. And different children just have different competencies at different ages.